Memory Cafe Experience

5/23/13

2-4pm at the Atlas Coffee Mill in Appleton, WI

      Another wonderful memory cafe event! Singer/song writer Jeanne created songs out of things participants wrote about their experiences and memories from two weeks ago. The hand written memories were spread out on tables for everyone to view as well.  Everyone really enjoyed singing along (the lyrics were provided). I don't think there was even one person who did not sing with the group! This was the main event and it was enjoyed by all.  Also, the "hello" and "friendship" songs were sung. You can just see how people's faces brighten up during the "hello" song. It is so nice to have this at the beginning so everyone gets to know one another!
            At one point during the cafe, overseas travel came up and I thought it was interesting that nearly everyone at the event indicated that they have traveled overseas! Sharing jokes was another highlight of the event. Sometimes it just feels good to laugh, and jokes are things everyone can laugh about! I also noticed at this event the importance of the memory cafes role in providing connections for those who attend. To elaborate, the cafes provide the opportunity for many different types of connections to be made for those with memory loss, their care givers, and really anyone who attends. They allow participants with memory loss and their care partners to  make new connections with others, independent of each other.  The cafes also allow the person with memory loss and their care partner to connect with each other. This I think is the most special to see.  We have often been given the rare chance in these cafes to see two loved ones share a secret and laugh together despite a difficult time in their lives.
             It was a great event and though there was quite a bit of singing, everyone joined in and had a great time! There was lots of laughter, sharing, and caring:)

-Heather

Memory Cafe:  May 18, Thompson Community Center

Sorry I don't have a picture to post but I'll describe what observed.  There were about 25 people in all at the cafe:  8 participants (one man and one woman came by themselves), 6 care partners, 4 volunteers, 7 guests (the music group that was the activity of the day), and 2 Lawrence students.  I was not happy about the visit from the Lawrence students and before I describe the cafe, I'll paste in what I wrote to Betty last night:

There was one disturbing issue that we need to discuss at the facilitators' meeting.  When I arrived at 10:01, there were two young men from Lawrence there.  They had talked to the social worker (sorry I didn't catch her name) facilitating with Terri.  They had come to announce that they "got a grant" to put on a program at Lawrence on June 2 for people with dementia.  They're bringing in someone to do massages, music, and other activities.  (The grant seems to be from Lawrence to promote volunteer activities, but that's about all they told me.)  

I walked up and started asking them questions.  They had no idea who you are, had never heard of the FVMP, and didn't seem to know a lot about dementia (except that one student's grandfather had/has it).  They're in an Entrepreneurship class with Marty Finkler and he mentioned memory cafes to them.  I don't really know Marty, but I certainly would never let students just barge into a program without learning something about it and without getting permission.  This June 2 day is to be their project.  I gave them my card and asked them to contact me; the social worker got their email addresses and names.  They had no flyers or written information but said they were going to get some.  I urged them to talk with you! 

What do you all think of this?  

It was interesting to observe a couple of interactions between men with dementia.  Two of them had brought joke books and were having fun comparing jokes.  Another two discovered they both speak German and were having short exchanges in German.  One of the German speaking men has big challenges with communication and I wonder what the difference would be if someone could speak German fluently with him more often.  

The large singing group consisted mostly of older people.  They brought lyrics sheets and the songs were well-chosen for the group.  They switched the tempo of the songs which was nice; singing was accompanied by a boom box with instrumental recordings of the songs.  Apparently this singing group gets together on a regular basis:  6 women, 1 man.  

I heard someone say that there are some participants who only come to memory cafes when there's a music program.  

I spent a lot of time talking with a woman who was attending for the first time.  She told me she has "short term memory problems" and that someone at the foot clinic at Thompson suggested she come to the MC.  She also told me she's not diagnosed with Alzheimer's but has long term mental health problems.  I didn't pursue questioning about that.  She left mid-way through the cafe, saying that she's not a "morning person" and was tired.  She seemed interested in the boat trip and in returning to another cafe.  She wondered about car pooling to the Neenah and Menasha cafes but I had to tell her we don't have arrangements for that.  

Another volunteer told me that she talked with a couple of care partners (women) who emphasized how important it was for them to come to the cafe to be with people who accept the condition of their husbands.  

Except for my unhappiness over the unannounced visit from the Lawrence students, I thought it was another good Saturday morning at the Thompson cafe.

Memory Cafe 5/9 Atlas

The memory cafe last Thursday was absolutely wonderful.  There were 19 people total, more women than men.  The activity this time was creating lyrics to be formed in to a song at the next cafe.  The woman who lead the activity, Jeanne, asked the audience to finish sentences like: "I forget things such as..." and "It's funny when I forget to..." and "It's easier to remember things when I...".  Almost everyone participated and chimed in with stories of their own.  She wrote everyone's answers and also recorded the entire activity on a voice recorder.  She was a good communicator, and made it easy for those who had dementia to interact.  Jeanne also sang us one of her own songs at the end that was called The Circle of Giving.  The song sparked good conversation about the art of giving and receiving.  

The overall atmosphere and energy was very welcoming and friendly.  A couple care partners shared emotional, touching stories about their spouses.  One woman who's spouse has dementia said, "These cafes are a place to be with others who have similar life experiences and to be with others who understand.  Sometimes when family doesn't understand, people here do."  So much wisdom and warm conversations filled the room and I'm glad I was able to be a part of it.